He was a cowboy, mister, and he loved the land. He loved it so much he made a woman out of dirt and married her. But when he kissed her, she disintegrated. Later, at the funeral, when the preacher said, "Dust to dust," some people laughed, and the cowboy shot them. At his hanging, he told the others, "I'll be waiting for you in heaven--with a gun."
-- Jack Handey
Tuesday, February 09, 2010
Quote of the Day
Monday, February 08, 2010
Quote of the Day
The universe may have a purpose, but nothing we know suggests that, if so, this purpose has any similarity to ours.
-- Bertrand Russell
Sunday, February 07, 2010
Quote of the Day
Ned... have you thought about one of the other major religions? They're all pretty much the same.
-- Reverend Timothy Lovejoy
Saturday, February 06, 2010
Friday, February 05, 2010
Quote of the Day
I once wanted to become an atheist, but I gave up - they have no holidays.
-- Henny Youngman
Thursday, February 04, 2010
Quote of the Day
In religion and politics, people's beliefs and convictions are in almost every case gotten at second hand, and without examination.
-- Mark Twain
Wednesday, February 03, 2010
Quote of the Day
Once I posed naked for a magazine. But it was very demeaning, and I've never been back to that newsstand.
-- Emo Philips
Tuesday, February 02, 2010
Monday, February 01, 2010
Quote of the Day
Oh, no room for Bender, huh? Fine. I'll go build my own lunar lander. With blackjack. And hookers. In fact, forget the lunar lander and the blackjack! Ah, screw the whole thing.
-- Bender Unit 22
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