Quote of the Day

The difference between a man and a boy is, a boy wants to grow up to be a fireman, but a man wants to grow up to be a giant monster fireman.
-- Jack Handey

Quote of the Day

Live a good life. If there are gods and they are just, then they will not care how devout you have been, but will welcome you based on the virtues you have lived by. If there are gods, but unjust, then you should not want to worship them. If there are no gods, then you will be gone, but will have lived a noble life that will live on in the memories of your loved ones.
-- Marcus Aurelius

Quote of the Day

We must respect the other fellow's religion, but only in the same sense and to the same extent that we respect his theory that his wife is beautiful and his children smart.
-- H.L. Mencken

Quote of the Day

Say what you will about the Ten Commandments, you must always come back to the pleasant fact that there are only ten of them.
-- H.L. Mencken

Quote of the Day

I think it is good that books still exist, but they do make me sleepy.
-- Frank Zappa

Quote of the Day

And, Lord, we're especially thankful for nuclear power, the cleanest, safest energy source there is, except for solar, which is just a pipe dream.
-- Homer J. Simpson

Quote of the Day

We could jam in Joe's garage,
we didn't have no dope or LSD,
but a coupl'o'quarts o'beer,
would fix it so the intonation,
would not offend your ear.
-- Frank Zappa

Quote of the Day

I haven't spoken to my wife in years. I didn't want to interrupt her.
-- Rodney Dangerfield

Quote of the Day

If you saw two guys named Hambone and Flippy, which one would you think liked dolphins the most? I'd say Flippy, wouldn't you? You'd be wrong, though. It's Hambone.
-- Jack Handey

Quote of the Day

Is there another word for synonym?
-- George Carlin